The Big Day


She had been planning this day virtually her whole life, but in reality for a year.

Getting the wedding planning underway seemed very laborious from my perspective as mother of the bride. We live in different cities and sometimes different parts of the state so my ability to offer a hands-on approach was almost impossible. My daughter has a very independent nature and although she loves the support of others in her life, she ultimately is in the drivers seat. It is her show, she will tell you how it’s going to go. She is strong and intelligent and knows her mind. Her determination has taken her through some very difficult times both in our lives as a family and through her own personal struggles. She is an amazing person and if you are her friend, she will give 100%.

She has chosen her dress, decided on colors for the bridesmaids and chosen her bridal party. The venue for the event took much longer, we looked at several locations each with negative and positive aspects to all the varying locations and amenities. She really wanted to schedule somewhere out of her home town so the people who would be attending really wanted to be there to support her and her groom and not just attending to eat and drink free food and listen to free music. Sounds a little harsh I know, but her point was well taken, and in the end she booked a venue near where she lives which suited her expectations best.

Wedding invitations are sent out and RSVP’s are included.  Up until the deadline to mail it back in, only a handful came back. On the majority of the ones that did, only a few had names or number of attendees. Are you kidding me? Blank RSVP’s? No, that’s not entirely true. There was an area to write down a song request. Even though there were no name(s) or number of attendees, there was almost a 100% guarantee of a song request. Priorities, each of us has our own priorities!  How can you plan and organize a big event such as a wedding when you don’t even know how many people are planning on attending? Unbelievable. Did they not understand what that extra card and envelope were for other than a song request? Many of her friends verbally said they were coming, but no RSVP was received via US mail. She’s posting on social media, pleading, trying to get those RSVP’s sent back in. Are they just waiting until the last minute, or maybe something better will come along for that night so they don’t want to commit. Maybe they don’t have the correct attire or can’t afford a gift. I can’t imagine what their situation was, but we needed to know specifics for this day. The food is charged by the plate. The caterer needs a count. So, we guessed.

Wedding day. The invitations were very specific on time and place, and my daughter was specific to her invited guests that this was a semi-formal event. Appropriate attire required. The wedding was to begin at 6:00. Dinner and reception to follow. 6:00. That means the event will begin at that specific time. I’m with the bridal party and at 6:15 I look out at the crowd to see only a handful of attendees, most of them family. Out of approximately 200 invitees, a handful of relatives show up on time. So, we wait for a few minutes. 6:45, a few more “friends” trickle in. By 7:00, it’s time to begin no matter what. Then people started coming in. I suppose they thought the ceremony would be over. I don’t know. I just can’t believe that people can be so casual about a planned event that they couldn’t even return an RSVP or get to this special event for a friend, on time. Do they not teach these things within the family anymore? How to be on time, or appropriate dress, how to be responsible to others for honoring a special day….appropriately? It was frustrating. If I had it to do over again…..I swear!

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